Things That Just Piss Me Off

Ok, it used to be that when there was a series on tv, there was a new episode each week. It was normal and expected. If so, why do all the networks now advertise that “This Week! A Brand New Episode of Whateverjunktheyareshowingnow? As if this is a special thing they have done for us.

That goes right along with World Premiere Movie! Even though it’s a movie that millions saw at the box office, hundreds of thousands rented it at the video store, others saw it on hbo and cinemax. Now it’s finally on tv so it’s a world premiere of the movie? Do they really think that low of all of us? Do they think we’re that dumb? Are we that dumb?

They give us reality shows because they are cheaper to make than real entertainment. They give us news shows like fox news that isn’t even real. Fox News will never have to worry about low advertising sales because the republican party would give them all the money they need if it came down to it.

But we still watch? Why? I’ll admit there are a few tv series that are still around that might be worth watching because the networks feel they can’t do away with using people with actual talent altogether.

I like House. I still like Law and Order, even the repeats. Monk is ok. Without a Trace is pretty good. That’s about it for me.

CSI is the most ridiculous show I’ve ever seen yet it’s very popular. For those of you who love this show, one note you really should know. Nothing they do on that show is based on any reality in this dimension.

CSI Techs do not get to interview suspects. They do not get to make arrests. As far as labs go, the CSI units on TV are the only CSI units that have that much high tech gear all in one place. Maybe the CIA or FBI come close. But the budget for a CSI like the one they show on this tv series would be almost as much as the Iraq War.

Just those big high def display screens in every department of the lab would be more than it costs to build another condominum project in Miami. The fingerprint lab has a big screen. The DNA lab has one. The ballistics lab has one. The blood lab has one. On and on.

When you consider the number of techs that work on each case in each episode, a city like Miami would have to have 100 techs on each shift to put that much time into each murder.

But then of course it only takes about 3 minutes to match a set of fingerprints against the entire crime information database for the whole country plus interpol. I know that’s true because I saw it on CSI.

Then it only takes slightly more time, say 5 minutes to use the facial recognition software and match a face in the entire national database.

For those real CSI Tachs out there, I commend you for the work you do. The pressure to get all of the information processed and examined is tremendous. The workload is huge. And for the most part, those techs do a great job.

But if life is to imitate art, you are going to have to start interviewing suspects and making the arrests too, leaving detectives with nothing whatsoever to do besides eat donuts.

Stumble it!